Hi Everyone,
I don't know how this will go as I've never "blogged" before but I hope our sharing here will keep us encouraged spiritually over the holiday break.
It's been quite busy for me since we broke up from CFBS for 2010. And what a year we had! God certainly tested me at various points and had some very timely lessons to teach me. As hard as God's pruning is on my life the benefits far out weigh any immediate or temporary pain. Praise God! Although I do remember some tantrums I had during this process - not very mature of me. However, I'm excited about 2011 and believe God has good things planned.
Since finishing up CFBS this year I've had a lovely holiday , have done multiple Christmas pressie shopping trips, tried to do washing on the odd day that wasn't raining, had Emily's 2nd birthday accompanied by Paul's family, Paul has been back at working interviewing for a new English teacher. The list goes on. I have not had the usual commitments and so I've had the freedom to do things more at my leisure and to juggle errands with Paul. Yet I have found myself struggling to have time to pray, read scripture and bible study. Without my well oiled routine that I've taken all year to cultivate, my spiritual life seems to have fallen off the wagon. When reflecting over why this is the case I realised how dependent I am on Christian props and my general routine and I am confronted to look at my true relationship with God when everything is stripped away. Who am I when no one is looking? Am I like the white washed tombs that Jesus accused the Pharisee's of being - apparent holiness on the outside but completely sinful on the inside. Is my life one that is full of integrity before God - integrity of worship and submission of all my self to God? To answer in truthfulness,no, it's not. I feel God wanting me to live a more consistent life of faith - contentment and faith focused and resting in Christ independently of circumstances. And also to up the ante and not to allow complacency to rule my heart.
The Apostle Paul says " for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. " (Philippians 4 :11-13). Thank goodness Paul said that contentment was something he learned as this gives me hope as I can learn it too.
So, I commit to memorising this bit of scripture and will pray for it in my life.
Let me know what you think. Is routine or no routine significant for you? What is God talking to you about? What has 2010 been about for you?
I have actually found over the holidays I've grown closer to God. I still have to make MUCH more effort to read His word but I have found that having less commitments, I have become more relaxed, more myself and better able to converse with Him at my leisure, and better able to hear/ sense his reply. I know the schedules of the year will commence soon, and my anxiety will increase so I'm trying to find ways of holding on to this feeling of peace and rest that makes me feel closer to God- any ideas??
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